People were asked to submit a series of questions that could be used to ascertain how good someone was...


Abbe S

1. Would you chose to stay with a family member over your friends if you knew they wanted to spend time with you at the weekend?

2. Would you stay away from someone who was in a relationship if you thought it was possible they might cheat with you?

3. If a friend has an hour of need but you have a particularly hectic and busy day, would you make time for them?

4. If a woman with a pram was struggling, trying to carry it down many stairs, would you stop and help?

5. Will you ever offer your services for volunteer work?

Ellie H

1. Are you a vegetarian?

2. Do you use a car as your main source of transport?

3. Does your house use all energy saving light bulbs?

4. Does you electricity provider use 100 percent renewal sources?

5. Do you recycle all your waste?

Kate S

1. Would they laugh at someone openly?

2. Would they step on ants?

3. Would they refuse to lend you a fiver?

4. Would they talk at you without asking or listening?

5. Do they love their mum?

Claire D

1. Do you own/care for any plants?

2. Do you have/would you like a pet?

3. How often do you help old ladies across the road or offer to help someone with really heavy shopping bags?

4. How often do you cook for people other than yourself, without sex as a motive?

5. Have you ever, or would you ever consider voting tory?

Julia E

1. Do they turn up when they say they will?

2. How often do they cancel?

3. Do they pay their share?

4. Are they kind?

5. Are they fun to be with?

Richelle S

Would you: Stand up for a pregnant lady or elderly person on the bus/tube if you were sitting and they were standing?

Leave a note if you accidentally scratched or dented an unattended car in a car park?

If you found a purse/wallet would you take the money and run? Or return the purse wallet with/without cash still in it?

Tell the bank if 10000 quid extra was in your bank account that wasn't yours?

Tell someone if they had something on their head, back or if they had toilet paper hanging off their shoe?

Suzi N

1. Would you give away your last cigarette?

2. Would you smile at a friendly face on the train?

3. Would you offer to buy a drink even if you couldn't really afford it?

4. Would you dance with a random person in club not expecting anything else?

5. Would you wash up without saying anything?

James W

1. Is goodness defined deontologically, teleologically or a combination of both?

2. Is goodness the same as pleasure?

3. Are there any moral absolutes?

4. If there is no God, or God has died, where would/ does our morality come from?

5. On a scale of one to ten, how good are you?

6. Is narcissism wrong?

Megan M

1. Would you pour a cup of tea for yourself before others?

2. Would you say you couldn't afford to do something with a friend, yet end 
up spending money getting drunk anyway?

3. If you saw someone struggling with their shopping would you offer to 

4. Do you send your friends a message for no other reason other than to say 
you love them?

5. Do you have a teddy bear?


When you see a small furry animal lying injured in the road, do you a. Take it home and nurse it until it is well, b. Leave it where it is: nature has to take its course, c. Wrap it carefully in cling film and put it in the boot (Jamie Oliver probably has a recipe for it)?

2. Passing an unsightly dump of old mattresses, cookers and rubble in the countryside, do you a. Come back later and leave your discarded bean-bag collection there (after all, rubbish loves company), b. Sigh about the desecration of the countryside as you speed home to your parents' new executive style home just off the Newbury bypass, c. Take a day off and organise a posse of your friends to take it all to the council recycling depot?

3. Visiting your tutor's room one day, you find that he has slipped out for a moment. Idly glancing over some papers that he has left on the coffee table, you discover that they are the first draft for your crucial finals paper. Before you can stop yourself you have noticed key points in the first question. Do you a. Await his arrival, tell him what has happened, and suggest he alter the paper so as to remove any advantage you might have gained, b. Go away and have a coffee, then return in 15 minutes when he is back, saying nothing: you can always decide not to do that question, c. Quickly photocopy the entire paper, speculating how much you can make by selling the information to your fellow-students?

4. Your best friend asks you whether her latest buy, a set of distressed jeans, suits her or not. You actually think it makes her look as though she has been poured into them and then left to set. Do you: a. Lie through your teeth, tell her she looks marvellous, and then follow her at a discreet distance, enjoying the whistles and cat-calls of passers-by? b. Tell her that she looks good, but it might be better not to wear them just yet as it would make other girls too jealous of her appearance? c. Tell her that the jeans look not so much distressed as traumatised, and that for her own sake the best thing she could do would be to give them away to Oxfam?

5. Your mother's eyesight is failing, but she still insists on driving round the M25 at high speed, often in the wrong direction, on her way to and from her frequent bridge parties. Do you: a. Organise for her GP to have her licence cancelled on medical grounds, but make a car pooling arrangement with her bridge partner so that she will not miss her game? b. Say nothing, but quietly resolve to avoid the M25 yourself in future? c. Encourage her to raise her ambitions and take part in the Gumball rally: the legacy would come in really useful as a deposit on that flat you've had your eye on?

6. At an important interview you are asked your opinion of Nietszche, of which the chairman of the interview board is clearly a fan. Do you: a. Admit that you cannot even spell Nietszche? b. Comment that you admire anyone who can understand his oevre, but that you have never yet had time to give his books the attention they deserve? c. Say you love all his sayings, but that your favourite is "Goest thou to the woman - do not forget thy whip"?

For odd numbered questions, score 10 if you answered (a), 5 if you answered (b), and 0 if you responded (c). For even numbered questions, score 0 for (a), 5 for (b), and 10 for (c). Your scores:

0 to 10: You utter bastard. You will do very well in life but everyone will hate you (even your dog).

20 to 40: You are a trimmer and a quibbler. Fundamentally dishonest even to yourself, you will survive well enough through your apparent plausibility, and will be known as a pillar of the community.

50 to 60: You are the nearest thing to a secular saint that anyone is likely to see. Either that, or you are a devious little liar who knows how these quizzes work and have deliberately chosen the right answers.

Hannah D

1. Are you willing to see another persons point of view, even if it goes against yours?

2. Do you acknowledge your faults, or try to hide them?

3. When people talk to you, do you listen, or do you just wait for your turn to speak?

4. If things go wrong, are you vain enough to think that a higher power is out to get you?

5. Do you know how your five closest friends take their tea/coffee/vodka?